Tomorrows Appointment

This is another one of the many reasons I decided to take the blog private. In times like this when I am going through something personal I don't want to put it out there for the world to see but only those that are like family and who I know will lift us up in prayer. This paperwork is not something I ever thought or ever want to see on my counter again.

We are taking Camp tomorrow to the Cancer Center of America to have a growth in his mouth looked at. It's been there for quite some time and knew the time would come when it needed to be removed. I took the kids to the dentist a few weeks ago for a teeth cleaning and found out two things.

1. It was time for us to be referred and for Camp to have the growth removed.
2. That Emma Claire was going to have to have 3 teeth pulled in the next few weeks to make room for her new teeth. (Ssshhhhhh.....She doesn't know this will be happening.)

Our dentist told us not to worry with the name but rather the oral surgeon we will be going to see.  Up until yesterday I hadn't thought much about it. When the paperwork had come in the mail I just filed it away for another day. However, yesterday as I got it out to begin the process of filling out the paperwork for Camp my heart began to become anxious. Even now as I'm typing it's hard to hold the tears back. I know in my head that this is no big deal. God has this. That they will be putting him to sleep, removing the growth, and everything will be fine. BUT in my Mommy's heart it's hard for me to grasp the thought that I am taking my sweet boy to the cancer center for a pre-op evaluation. What do I do with that?

I can.not. imagine the pain parents feel everyday taking their kids for cancer treatment. This disease is ugly and we live in a fallen world. I can't wait for the day that Christ comes and makes all things new and puts EVERYTHING back in perfect order.

I am asking for prayer for two things.

1. That God would be gracious with us at tomorrows appointment. Every time I take Camp to the dentist I have to manhandle him down for them to clean his teeth. For whatever reason he is terrified and fights it every time. I do not know what to expect at tomorrows appointment so I'm not really sure how to prepare him. I am hoping that they will just take a quick look and we will be done, but I just don't know. 
2. For my heart. That I will fully rely on God's strength and have peace in that. I know they have told me that everything will be fine, but just the thought of walking through those doors sends a chill up my spine.  This is my baby. 

Benjamin will not be able to go but I am very thankful for a small group friend/sister who will be going with me to help out with Dawson. I really don't know what we would do without our small group family.

Thank you all so much for walking through life with us. We think of each of you as family and I will update you all as soon as I know anything. Tomorrow is just a pre-op appointment so it may just be that we find out information for his upcoming surgery.

God's got this.

Love you all!